Death Cult Movie
by ZazieCurie
Summary: What if american movies had influenced the DN series? How much diference would have made? One-shot. First Fic.


**Death Cult Movie****s**

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except the computer that I used to write this.

Note: Some quotes were a bit modified or adapted to the character and plot. Also, please forgive me for any grammar errors as English is not my first language.

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So I heard that America is planning on making a remake of Death Note, while the series is still major "cash cow". While we wait for the script being done and whatnot (and pray that they don't mess up. Much.), I come up with a very silly idea: what would the series look like if it was influenced by classic cult action/horror films from America? Well... Let's find out, shall we?

**Film: Army of Darkness**

_Matt, after being chased around for__ about... what? 30 minutes? ...is finally cornered by Takada's bitches-_

Henchmen: Hey!

_Fine, fine! Loyal bodyguards__. They are aiming at him. The red haired man comes out of the car and puts up his hands up in the air. Looks like the end for him. But-_

Matt - (Takes out and cocks up a bad ass shotgun) Give me some sugar, baby!

_He s__tarts shooting at them and blowing up their cars. Until he stops and blows on the double barrel of the gun. The crowd and the rest of the bodyguards are stunned._

Matt - (smugly) Yeah. Alright, you asshole screwheads, listen up. This is my BOOMSTICK!

The crowd in awe - OOOOOHH!!

Matt - That's right, this sweet baby was made by my dad in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel and a hair-trigger. (Cocks up) Ya got that? Now I swear, the next one of you bitches even touches me...

_Quickly, he__ aims at his right and shoots at one of the remaining bodyguards who were taking out his gun._

Bodyguard #1: My balls! (falls dead)

Matt - Anyone else wanna make my day? Heh, suckers?!

_The bodyguards run away, either by foot or by a still working car. The crowd simply gap at them. As for Matt... He lights a cigarette._

**Film: Pulp Fiction**

_Light Yagami has been found out: he's Kira. Now he's ranting on and on about that he's God and this and that. Man, he's boring! And__ Near thinks so too._

*BANG!*

_Light yelps in pain._

Near (Blankly) - Oh, I'm sorry...! Did I brake you're concentration?

_The others simply gap at him._

**Film: Night of Living Dead**

_Takada has just killed Mello and took his cell phone. Now she's trying to get help from Light._

Takada - (Gasping) I have to call Yagami-kun. He'll save me... I have to...

_Suddenly, __rustling is heard outside the truck's back doors. Sounded like scratching._

Takada - Huh?

_Rustling becomes pounding._

Mello's fangirls - We're coming to get you, Takada!

_The truck's back doors start cracking._

Takada - Wha?!

*CRRRRACK* _The doors are forced open._

Mello's fangirls - (heavy armed) We're coming to GET YOU!!

Takada - KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

_Scene fades to black_

(Didn't see that one coming did ya?)

**Film: Silence of the Lambs:**

_Naomi Misora and her fiancé, Raye Penber, are out on a date. They're at café and Raye has gone to the restroom as Naomi is at the table waiting for him. Suddenly her cell phone rings._

Naomi - Yes?

_No answer._

Naomi - Hum. Hello?

BB - (whispery) Remember the Wara Ningyo, Misora... The Wara Ningyooo...! *click*

_Naomi stares at the cell phone confused and annoyed._

Naomi - ... _That mother fuc-_

Ray Penber - (Returning from the restroom) Who was it?

Naomi - (Jumps) No one... Must have been wrong number.

**Film: ****007/Deliverance combo:**

_When solitary didn't work, Light is tied up to a table by L to take a confession out of him__. To make matters worse, a laser beam is coming towards him, threatening to cut him in half._

Light - (Trying playing cool) Heh. Do you expect me to talk - I mean, to lie, L?

L - (Blankly) No, Yagami-kun... I expect you to... squeal.

Light - (blinks) ...What?

_All of the sudden, frenetic banjo playing is heard out of no where and L's successors also appear, with very sadistic smiles._

Mello, Near and Matt - SQUEAL, PIGGY! SQUEAL!

Light - ...?!

L - (With insane eyes) You sure have a pretty mouth, Yagami-kun... (grins perversely)

_Scene fades to black with Light' screams being heard._

Well, that's it. I hope that-

Misa - Hey! How come Misa Misa didn't have a role?

Hum... I forgot? (Shifty eyes)

Misa - (Full tantrum) Misa Misa wants to appear in a movie tooooo!!!

Okay, okay! Fine! You can appear on this one! (Gives her a film poster)

Misa - (looks at the film poster) _Misery_? What's Misa Misa's role in it?

_She's not going even ask what the film is about, is she? Idiot... _Your role is going to be... a maid who is Light's character's number 1 fan. You know. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, and so on...

Misa - (squeals in happiness and bounces away)

Light - (worried) She's not going to be the main character, is she?

Of course, not!

Light - Phew...

That's Rem's role.

Light - O.o

Rem - (grins evilly)

The end

Thank you for reading this short one-shot fic. Please review. :D


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